It's a popular saying in the Yoruba jurisprudence that *Omo ale lo ma n rinu ti e bi*, (it's only a bastard that won't be angry when it's needful) *omo ale na ni won nbe tio ni gbebe*(yet,only a bastard would refuse to be appeased). The truism of this statement points to the fact that it's natural for a man to be angry and pick offence when s/he's somehow hurt by the negligence or willful act of another. However, the decision to let go, overlook the offence and forgive the offender is what truly separates men and reveals a great deal about individuals. When it comes to response to matters that matter no two men are similar. This response is a result of our understanding, knowledge and sometimes, belief. No man is capable of acting beyond his knowledge!
I like to think that the gravity of any particular offence is a factor we unconsciously consider when making a decision to either forgive or not. And this is why some people would sorrowfully exclaim " Ha, I can't forgive him!", "What is forgiveness? He can't get mine nor God's ", "She has made me a living dead and you want me to forgive and....(hisses) Who does that?", " in fact, to forgive them on this matter is a sin, biko!" "You see, it's only God that would settle this matter... " etc. I know people say all these because of pain but is there any offence that is unpardonable indeed? I don't think so ( safe blasphemy against God and crimes against the State. Even the latter is questionable). *If God could forgive you your gravest sin why would you not forgive QYZ especially when s/he is sober?*
This piece is not a defense for those who offend but a balm to the injured; those who are victims of the devious act. They need to realise that keeping grudges or offence list is a weight that is capable of sinking their ship in the dire ocean of life. You need to feel as lighter as possible to have a smooth sail. Help yourself. It's almost (if not total) impossible not to be offended in your life time by someone but hold your peace. Similarly, this is a candid counsel to those who hurt others with pleasure to nib such ominous act in the bud. Seek forgiveness if you know you've erred. *If you can't put smile on someone's face don't put grief either.*
Ed. 4
Tunde Ogunyale,
For Peacepace Initiative... towards Peace
